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I'm Melanie Hope. Welcome to the Hope Alchemy website.  I share My teachings and My Poetry and Mandalas Here. This is a Place to Find Inspiration for Your Journey of Life. Enjoy Your Visit!

Are You Constantly Saying "I'm Sorry"?

Are You Constantly Saying "I'm Sorry"?

Do you find yourself saying "I'm sorry" all the time, even when you haven't done anything to apologize for? 

I have noticed this in myself and in so many other women. Have you noticed other women saying "I'm sorry" way too often? Have you ever noticed how often you say it? 

You can’t apologize your way to your dreams, you must stand in your power and claim what’s yours unapologetically.  
— Melanie Hope

It is so common for women to over-apologize. You probably do it without even being aware of it. And it can be annoying if you see someone else doing it. I want to encourage you to open your heart & see what's really going on behind the "I'm sorry". It comes from deep within. From a young child who has been taught that they don't belong & they don't deserve to take up space. What it looks like is the need to apologize anytime you do something that could possibly bother another person, even apologizing anytime someone is upset, even if it doesn't involve you at all. It is often portrayed as caring, like, "I'm sorry you're upset". Ok, but saying "I'm sorry" doesn't help them or you. You have nothing to do with their pain, so don't take responsibility for it by apologizing. And it teaches them that being upset is not good, and doesn't allow them to just be. Offering quiet support by listening when someone is upset is a much more helpful response.

Saying "I'm sorry" all the time actually hurts you by reaffirming an old belief that you do not deserve to take up space. 

Here's an example that beautifully illustrates over-apologizing. I was standing behind a woman in the grocery store one morning. She was clearly distraught, just didn't have it all together that morning. She was in line & still deciding which items she wanted. Then she went to pay & had a problem with her bank card. She must have said "I'm sorry" 5-10 times to the cashier and to me during this process. She checked her account, she had money, but the card wasn't going through. "I'm sorry" The cashier even asked me if I was ok waiting. This woman's over-apologizing was teaching everyone else around that she didn't have the right to take up this space, and that we had every right to be upset with her. The other people were buying into it. Can you see? Her old belief that she didn't deserve to take up space, to exist, was so powerful that it was influencing others around her as well to believe it. But, I was in a strong, centered place that morning and I could see right through it. I touched her, looked into her eyes, and told her to stop saying "I'm sorry" and that she was worthy of being here and taking up space. I told her it was ok & she was ok. She almost broke into tears, as well as the cashier. They were amazed & their outlook totally transformed.

That's how powerful it is to see your deeper truth & shift your perspective. 

Can you see that by constantly saying "I'm sorry", you reaffirm your own old beliefs that you are not worthy to take up space, and you also teach everyone around you that you are not worthy to take up space & they will usually automatically treat you that way. I only responded the way I did because I was centered in my own energy and was not swayed by hers. If I had also been having a bad day, or not clearly centered, I probably would have bought in to her story too & felt annoyed with her behavior. 

These old beliefs & the automatic "I'm sorry" response feeds into guilt. When you don't believe you have a right to be here & take up space, you feel guilt, often. The guilt just feeds & fuels more "I'm sorry's". It's a self-defeating circular pattern, where the guilt feeling feeds the "I'm sorry" behavior and the constant over-apologizing feeds the guilt.

You can get out of this self-defeating pattern by becoming aware of it and shifting your perspective (and your energy) out of it. It's like when you're in it you can't see it, but as soon as you shift out, you can see clearly. I know because I also used to say "I'm sorry", way too much, for everything. I broke free, I see how much all those "sorry's" were actually hurting me. Would you like to break free from your guilt-apologizing pattern? Do you want to know how I broke free from mine? 

I wrote it all out for you in the Mom's Guilt Guide. I give you 5 simple steps to shift you out of your guilt-apologizing pattern. And it's FREE, yes, the very process I used (and still use anytime it creeps up) to get over my guilt-apologizing pattern, all yours for FREE when you click here NOW!

On the other side of all that guilt + over-apologizing is where your true personal power lies, it's where your dreams lie. You can't apologize your way to your dreams, you must stand in your power and claim what's yours unapologetically.  

So, your takeaway...  

You Are Worthy of Taking up Space

Get the Mom's Guilt Guide Now!

Stop saying I'm Sorry NOW!

Your homework...

Use the Mom's Guilt Guide!

Start paying attention to how often and when you say "I'm sorry", and ask yourself,

Did I actually do anything wrong? 

Am I actually responsible for someone's pain?

(hint: the Mom's Guilt Guide will help you see the answers)

Remember, you have every right to have a bad day and to make a mistake and you don't owe everyone an apology for it. If you did do something (really) that hurt someone, you only need to apologize once, keep it sincere & heartfelt, not begging forgiveness (that's back to the "I don't deserve to make a mistake story").

Has this helped you?  

Tell me your story in the comments or in my FB Group the Reveal Your Magnificence Tribe.

 

The Magnificence in Me

Honors & Celebrates

The Magnificence in You,

Melanie

 

p.s. Not in the Tribe yet, no problem,  click here to join. Don't miss a post by subscribing to my list, just scroll down & sign up!

Let's Create a New Paradigm of Motherhood

Let's Create a New Paradigm of Motherhood

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